An Upside-Down World Parshas Pekudei

There is a story told in the Gemara, Bava Basra, Daf Yud, how Rav Yosef, the son of Rav Yehoshua, fell ill, and his neshamah, his soul, temporarily ascended to heavenWhen he recovered, his father asked him, ‘What did you see up there?’ He answered, ‘I saw an upside-down world. ‘Olam hafuch ra’iti.’ Those who are considered important in this world are at the bottom. And those who are unimportant down here, in heaven, are the most distinguished.’ His father replied, ‘You didn’t see an upside-down world. What you saw was a clear world; olam barur ra’ita.’

I could have saved Rav Yosef a trip to heaven; all he had to do was turn on the news this past week. When we think of who is most important in our society, I’d venture to say it is our politicians voted upon by hundreds of thousands and Hollywood stars and directors who grab our attention. But instead of showing us how to take advantage of their mega-platforms, instead of demonstrating true leadership in the darkest of times, two people, one a politician, the other a Hollywood director, reminded us how upside-down this world really is.

Chuck Schumer, a man who in every single talk he gives with a Jewish audience reminds them how Schumer comes from the word, ‘shomer,’ protector. “I am,” he would proclaim, “the protector of the State of Israel.” But this past week he showed us that he is one who endangers the Jewish People. He lambasted Israel’s actions, giving fuel to the many who are trying to marginalize Israel. And while we could have a serious discussion about whether or not Netanyahu should remain Prime Minister of Israel, for an American politician to make this case is, in the words of Benny Gantz, Netanyahu’s prime opponent, “counter-productive and unacceptable.” A Jewish politician who claims to be a friend who endangers Israel in their time of need? This is not respectable behavior. We live in an upside-down world.  

This past Sunday, nearly 20 million people tuned in to watch the Oscars. As I am sure you all know by now, Jonathan Glazer, a Jew, who directed a powerful film about the Holocaust, after stepping up to the podium to receive an Oscar not only criticized the Jewish State, but demanded that the Holocaust not be invoked by the Jewish People. “Olam hafuch rai’ti. It is indeed an upside-down world.”

It’s not only those who are at the top who are really at the bottom. The inverse is true as well. Allow me to share with you two different stories about people who do not have prestigious positions, who many of you never heard of, but are making a real difference.

The first is about a guy name Ron Hassner. He is a dorky political science professor who despite teaching at UC Berkely. The past week he has been living in his office. He is 6’4 and his office is the size of a one-car garage, but that is not stopping him. His wife did not kick him out. Why is he doing this?

The Berkeley campus has been a cesspool of antisemitic hate and that hate predictably turned violent. A gathering with an Israeli lawyer was shut down by the police after 200 violent protestors broke windows and doors and injured students who were trying to attend the event.

Hassner, who despite teaching at Berkeley never joined a single protest is now staging a live-in. Until the university agrees to properly combat antisemitism, until the Jewish students on this campus can feel safe, Professor Hassner is not leaving his office. I am told that he asks visitors to bring Febreze as the stench in the room is getting quite strong. This man, who never protested before, who no one ever heard of, who is unimportant, is actually making a difference, is likely saving lives. “Olam hafuch rai’ti. It is indeed an upside-down world.”  

Let me tell you about another unrelated news item in the Jewish world. According to Jewish Law, divorce can only be affected when a man chooses to give his wife a divorce bill, a get. Though it is rare, unfortunately, this is sometimes taken advantage of. There are men who use this power that they have and refuse to divorce their wife unless some crazy demands are met. A woman who is waiting for a get is called an Agunah, literally, a chained woman, as she is unable to get remarried until she receives her get. We don’t know the exact number of women who are waiting for a get, but I do know of one – her name is Malki Berkowitz. She lives in New York and her husband is refusing to give her a get. It’s a tragedy. It’s disgusting. It’s heartbreaking. But most of us are going on with our lives.

However, there’s a 36-year-old woman by the name of Adina Sash, some may know her by her Instagram handle, FlatbushGirl. She decided one day that she wanted to help Agunos. She rolled up her sleeves and she did. She has helped people who were struggling receive their get, incredible. Recently, she became aware of the plight of Malki Berkowitz but none of her efforts were successful. So she came up with an idea – she asked all of her followers on social media, and she has many, to not be intimate with their husbands until Malki receives her get. Yes, you heard me correctly.

Now I happen to think it’s a terrible idea. There are enough issues with modern marriages that they do not need this extra tension. To be clear, I think it’s a really really terrible idea. Do not follow her advice, please.

But I have to give credit to Adina. Compared to Schumer and Glazer, she is a nobody. She is just a young woman without any professional role in the community who saw a problem that others were not addressing, and she stepped up. She, not a rabbi, not a major organization, an Instagram influencer is making waves and making a difference. Is this not an upside-down world?

Let’s take this Gemara one step further. If we indeed do live in an upside-down world, those who are deemed important are not, and those who are deemed to be unimportant are, what does that say about us? And by us, I mean all of us, regular people, not well-known beyond our little circles. In an upside-down world, you and I are most important of all.  And yet, we are sitting here, enjoying these stories of the villains and heroes of the Jewish people, eating our proverbial popcorn. It’s not relevant to me. What can I do? Who am I?

The sin of the Golden Calf, according to most commentaries, was not idolatry. They were not looking to replace Hashem. They were looking to replace Moshe. Without him, they believed, without a leader, they were lost. It was not a lack of belief in G-d. It was a lack of belief in oneself.

You know how G-d responded to the sin of the Golden Calf? He asked every single Jew to come forward and contribute to the building of the Mishkan. The Mishkan could not be built without each of them doing something to make it complete. More important than believing in G-d, Hashem wanted to make sure we believe in ourselves.

On Monday, (through my work with the OU,) I plan on spending the day in Albany with the parents of Oren Neutra. Oren has been held captive since October 7th and Oren’s parents will be at the New York State capitol to plead their case in front of politicians. I plan on telling them how our congregation has a picture of their son up on the wall of our sanctuary. I plan on telling them that every Shabbos we pray for his return and every day, twice a day, we add special chapters of Tehillim in their son’s merit. So tell me, who’s going to make a bigger difference to these distraught and broken parents? Some politicians who have to meet them or the knowledge that two hundred people they never met, on their own volition, are thinking about their son? I would not underestimate the power, both emotional and spiritual, that we possess.

You and I, us small people – we may not be able to get Malki freed. But imagine if every parent in this room commits to ensuring that your child will only get married with a Halachic prenup- a mechanism created and endorsed by leading rabbis that ensure that men give their wives a get, or if you are single that you will only get married with a Halachic prenup, imagine what a difference we could make. Imagine if every married couple goes ahead and gets a Halachic postnup – the same document but meant for couples like me and my wife who did not have a prenup. And yes, it’s an awkward conversation to have once you’re married. “Hey honey, in case we ever get divorced, you want to sign this document to make sure you don’t like a jerk?” Just blame it on me.

The Schumer’s and the Glazer’s of the world may have a bigger pulpit than you and me. The Ron Hassner’s and the Adina Sash’s of the world may be in the news. But in the real world, real change takes place right here, with me and you. The small actions we take to free the hostages, the pre and post-nups we sign to ensure that there will never be more agunos. We don’t have to wait until we go to heaven to see things clearly. V’n’hapich’hu, we could turn things over today. We just need to open our eyes and appreciate our worth, roll up our sleeves and get to work.  

 

 

 

In Defense of Forgettable and Irrelevant Details Parshas Vayakheil

Can anyone guess who said these words?

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You pay tithes of mint, dill, and cumin. But you have disregarded the weightier matters of the law: justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.”

Glad no one knew who said that. They were said by Matthew, one of the disciples of Jesus. But the truth is, those words could have been said by many Jews. How often do I hear people ask, why is Judaism so obsessed with details of minutia? Who cares? Would we not be better off if we focused on “the weightier matters” such as faith, justice, mercy?

If Matthew were preaching right outside this shul, how many of us would follow him?

I imagine the people who would be most inclined would be the many people in this shul who just finished learning a full tractate of the Talmud. They, who spent hours listening in to the debates of Abaya and Rava, who argued about the finest of details, those people would be the first to say, “You know, Matthew, you have a point there. Why did my head need to spin for hours on end with details about an ox and a pit? Would those hours not have been better spent studying inspirational literature that just encourages me to be a better person?”

If Matthew were preaching right outside this shul, you know how I would respond?

I’d ask CSS to call the police and get him off our property.

Just kidding.

This is what I’d respond to him:

“Matthew, I agree, us Jews sometimes get so caught up in the details that we lose sight of the bigger picture. A few years ago, I was visiting a shul and sat down in a vacant seat. A few more minutes later, someone walked in and kicked me out of the seat. It is my “Makom kavuah,” he told me. There is a law that one should have a set seat to daven in. What this person forgot is that the reason we have such a law is that we are trying to emulate our forefather, Avraham, who had a set place to pray. He was also a paragon of kindness. I have a feeling he would never in a million years kick me out of his seat in shul. So, Mathew, I feel you. But just because we sometimes lose sight of the forest, doesn’t mean the trees are not important.”

“Matthew, I imagine you watched the State of the Union address last night. I am sure you noted when President Biden spoke about a Two-State solution. You were probably wondering what happened to the Romans and who these Palestinians were, but that’s a discussion for another time. When the President said he believed in a Two-State solution, that is a big idea, and it could mean so many things. He could mean that he is going to pull aid from Israel until there are two states. Or he could continue to add right-wing hardliners on his list of no-entry to the US. He could also mean that he will continue to support Israel with aid and is just voicing a dream of ultimate peace with the Palestinians to give something to those in his party who are opposed to his support of Israel. The details, Matthew, they matter a lot. Yes, we don’t want to lose the forest for the trees. But a forest without any trees is not a forest.” 

But there’s more. I don’t know how long Matthew has been time-traveling, but assuming he was around two months ago, he may have noticed some headlines about a plane that lost its door in mid-flight. It was an excellent plane, engines were in perfect condition, the cabin was comfortable and modern. It just had a bolt that wasn’t properly installed. Just one bolt! Is it such a big deal? Yes, it is because details matter. A lot.

We just read a parsha filled with details! Does it really matter if the dimensions of the Ark were two amos or two and a half amos? Does it really matter? Apparently, it does. You may reject the Oral Law, but this is scripture, Matthew!

Or perhaps if I would try to send an email to Matthew and I would send it to Matthew@Apostlecom, and I would forget that little period before the word com. Is that really such a big deal?

You see the reason we don’t think it’s a big deal is because we don’t think that WE are a big deal. An airplane, we consider that to be a big deal. Navigating an email from my computer to yours on the world wide web, that’s a big deal. What a terrible misconception. Our every action IS a big deal. Our every word can create or destroy. Our every thought has power.

“I wonder, Matthew, if perhaps your religious worldview with human beings who are damned from birth who can only attain salvation with grace in some ways shades your view of those small details. Because I believe that we are created with a soul that is piece of G-d Himself. I believe that this soul is connected to the heavens and to the world around us. I believe that my every breath has the ability to dramatically change the course of the world. In my worldview, in a worldview in which I am charged with partnering with G-d, details matter a lot.”

Now Matthew was no slouch. We know from historical records that he preached to the Jewish community more than the other students. He likely spent time learning with the Sages like his teacher, Jesus. And so, I could hear Matthew conceding that yes, maybe details are important; you cannot paint a big picture without all the small strokes, fine. But why do we spend so much time studying texts that aren’t even relevant to us?

And all the people who made their way over to my side of the argument would slowly start making their way back over to Matthew. Leading the way would once again be the 137 people who just finished learning Bava Kama, and the dozens of people who have continued with Bava Metzia. Why are we doing this? If I find a cloak at the exact same time as someone else, I’d probably just let him keep it!

I’ll be honest, this question troubled me a lot when I was younger. I used to argue with my father that there was no point in learning Gemara with all the scenarios that were irrelevant. And to top it all off, I’d forget so much of what I learned. What was the point?

My father shared with me a Medrash in response to these questions that I’d like to share with you. It tells a story of a king and his two servants. They are each given a huge bucket and told to fill it up with water. The king leaves and the servants get to work. Immediately, they realize the buckets have a hole on the bottom. All the water they put in immediately leaves the bucket. One servant says, “Pff. I’m not going to waste my time.” He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through TikTok. The other servant takes small bucket after small bucket and keeps on filling the big bucket with water. Even though it all comes spilling out.

A few hours later, the king returns. He turns to the guy on his phone and asks him what he’s doing. He explains, “Your Majesty, you likely didn’t realize but the bucket, it has a hole in it. I saved my energy for a more important job. How can I serve you?”

And the king shakes his head. “You fool! I wanted you to pour water into this bucket not to fill it, but to clean it!”

Yes, there are practical elements to the study of the Torah, but the impractical elements are just as important. And yes, we may forget a lot of what we learned, but it still is meaningful. By engaging with these texts, these texts which we believe to be sacred, by allowing the cleansing water of Torah to pass through us, whether the laws are relevant or not, whether we remember what we learned or forget a moment later, we transform.  

Why is Torah sacred? Why are these laws that are irrelevant holy?

The Baal HaTanya explains that the laws of the Torah are our window into the thought process of G-d Himself. How do we connect to G-d? We can’t touch Him, we can’t feel Him. But we can try to understand Him. The Baal HaTanya writes a rather evocative idea: When we do a Mitzvah with our body it’s like we are hugging G-d. When we pray with our mouth it’s like we are kissing G-d. When we plug the depths of the Talmud, when we try to understand all the nuances of any particular law, practical or not, when we merge our minds with the mind of G-d, that is the deepest, most intimate connection we can have. 

This here in my hands is a letter my wife wrote me while we were engaged. Allow me to read it to you:

Yeah right! You think I would read that to you?!

But let me tell you, you know how many times I read this letter? You know how much I analyzed every choice of adjectives? Do you know how much attention I paid to the curve of her writing?

So, Matthew, I am not sure if I have persuaded you, but I hope next time you give you sermon, you can appreciate that details matter a lot. They matter a lot because we matter a lot. Everything we do has significance – far more than an airplane. Details matter because without trees there is no forest, and without that little dot your email never leaves your outbox. And details matter because although people consider your religion the religion of love, we lay claim to a passionate, love-filled relationship with the Divine, and the Talmud is the greatest love letter ever written.

 

A Turkey with a Crown Parshas Mishpatim

I’d like to share my favorite parable of all time. This parable animates my approach to the rabbinate and really, my approach to life. It’s a story told by Rav Nachman of Breslov, a Chassidic rebbe, known for many things, one of them being a great storyteller.

This particular story is of a prince. He lives the good life with his mother and father, the king and queen; the finest clothing, the best education, an opulent and pampered life. But one day, out of the blue, the prince removes all his clothing, gets on all fours, starts eating crumbs from the floor, and starts making gobble-gobble sounds like a turkey.

His parents, as you can imagine, were beside themselves. What in the world is going on? They give him a few days, hoping it’s a phase, but he’s still on the floor, debasing himself and acting like a turkey. And so, they swallow their pride and start calling in the experts. Psychiatrists prescribe him medication, therapists try every modality under the sun, educational experts cycle through the royal palace. But the prince is still on the floor claiming to be a turkey.

Let’s pause here and try to understand what is going through the prince’s mind. The prince is not as crazy as he seems. On the contrary, it is the king and queen and all the royalty who are the crazy ones. You see, the palace life is full of choreography, rules of etiquette that must be abided by, outfits that must conform to the royal protocols, curtsies and bows and pleasantries. Life in a palace is one big show, or more accurately, it’s one big fraud. Everyone is following a script, and no one, absolutely no one, is themselves.

The prince is a thoughtful young man. While everyone is standing in adoration of the king and queen, he sees right through it. We’re not special. Our blood is not blue, we have no special gifts, it’s all one big game. If anything, says the prince, you know what we really are? We are no different than an animal in the wild. We eat, we sleep, we enjoy ourselves. That’s all I really want, and that’s who I really am. And so, the prince, the one honest person in the palace, strips off his stifling clothing, he drops his ridiculous royal mannerisms, and gobbles-gobbles like a turkey.

Nietzsche, one of the most influential philosophers of all time, made the same argument as the prince in Rav Nachman’s story. Humans, he writes, were once driven by instinct, and as long as that was the case, we were truly the kings of the world. But then we developed something called civilization, with rules that curbed our instinct. They forced us to act against our inner animal. In this state of being ‘civilized,’ in this state of living by a moral code that went against our natural spirit, we became divorced from who we really are, and in his words, we became “the sickest of animals.”

It’s the prince who is the most authentic person in the palace. He embraces his base desires, his yearning for unbridled freedom, for no rules. “This is who I am.” Of course, every doctor who tried to cure him was unsuccessful. How could they be? They were trying to tell him that he is someone he is not. They are trying to force him to be inauthentic. Once the prince tasted the richness of being true to thyself, there is no allure to the palace life with all its games.

Who here feels like a turkey?

Who here feels stifled by the rules we must abide by? And I don’t even mean the rules of the Torah. The rules of life. The smiles we need to plaster onto our face, the pleasantries, the unspoken rules that dictate our every move. The prince is far more relatable than we thought.

The story continues:

One day an old man came to the door of the palace. He said he had a cure for their son. He had no credentials, but they were desperate, so they ushered him in. The old man enters the room that the prince is in and finds him under the table, unclothed, eating scraps of meat that have fallen to the floor. The old man removes his jacket. He then removes his shirt. He then gets fully undressed and gets under the table next to the prince. The prince eyes the old man suspiciously.

But the old man ignores him and starts gobble-gobbling himself. He joins him in eating the scraps of food off the floor. He spends a week under the table as a turkey.

At the end of the week, the old man snaps his fingers, and the king’s servants drop his and the princes’ clothes under the table. The old man starts to get dressed. The prince turns to him, incredulous: “What are you doing? I thought you were a turkey?!” And the old man explains that just because he’s a turkey doesn’t mean he can’t wear dignified clothing. The prince ponders this for a moment and then puts on his own royal outfit. But they are still under the table.

A week later, the old man snaps his fingers, and the servants bring him food on beautiful China and magnificent cutlery. And again, “What are you doing? I thought you were a turkey?!” And the old man explains that just because he’s a turkey doesn’t mean he shouldn’t delicious food.

And this continues until finally, the prince is acting like royalty; with all the clothing and mannerisms that it entails. All the while, the prince still considers himself to be a turkey. Only that now he realizes a turkey could act like a human, a turkey can even wear a crown.

What Rav Nachman is trying to convey in this profound story is that the prince was right; we are all just animals. Some people embrace that reality – I will follow my instincts, I will embrace what other people may call my flaws, and I will just be true to myself. And there are others who are completely divorced from reality; they have no self-awareness, no sense of who they are, they are living their lives conforming to whatever they are told to do. The life of the true-to-thyself prince is myopic and self-centered, and the life of the superficial king is stifling and inauthentic.

And then there is the wisdom of the old man, who tells us that we can and we must know who we are, perhaps we are an animal at our core. But that doesn’t mean we cannot act in the most dignified fashion. That knowledge does not preclude us from acting like and embracing the divine. True growth and true greatness comes precisely from the individual who knows who they really are, who is brave enough to go to the darkest of places and face their inner demons. The richest life is live by he or she who is bold enough to confront the gap that exists between who we really are and where we need to be.

I’d like to share with you something a little esoteric. Today is Rosh Chodesh Adar Rishon. The Jewish calendar is a hybrid between the cycle of the moon and the cycle of the seasons. One of the rules of the calendar is that Pesach must always fall out in the spring season. But because there are less days in a lunar year than there are in a solar year – there are 365 days in the solar calendar and 354 in the lunar, a 10.5-day gap, our Sages instituted an extra month to “catch up,” and ensure that the two remain in sync.

The mystics point out that the moon is so to speak more authentic than the sun. The sun shines every day. The moon waxes and wanes. Which one of those is more aligned with human nature? Absolute consistency or days of highs and days of lows? It’s the moon, of course. The moon that almost disappears, as we feel like almost giving up, and then, boom, we bounce back with a vengeance.

The gap between the lunar calendar and the solar calendar represents the gap between who we are and who we want to be. When we acknowledge our deficiencies, when we acknowledge our moon-like behavior, when we embrace our moon as we do in a Jewish leap year by adding a lunar month, you know what happens? The lunar calendar actually becomes longer than the solar year. This year there are 384 days in the lunar calendar. Says the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Adar Rishon, this extra month, this month that represents our acknowledgment of our deficiencies, this month of kaparas pasha, is a month that propels us forward well beyond the years in which we ignore who we really are. Those who forget they are turkeys live an inauthentic life but those who remain turkeys live an incomplete life. It’s the prince who now wears a crown, who knows who he is, who lives the richest life of all.  

This idea is not limited to people shying away from their own weaknesses. There is a similar phenomenon of people who are afraid of difficult theological questions. These “kings and queens” pretend there are no questions, no difficulties, and stifle their inner voice whenever she makes a peep. And there are those “prince-like” people who get so weighed down by their questions on G-d, and they just give up. They are both missing out on the richness of seeing the light after grappling with darkness. This is the message, and this is the power of Adar Rishon, the extra lunar month that propels us forward; face the darkness, work through your demons, and then, and only then, will you taste the richness that life has to offer.

There is a beautiful letter written by Rav Yitzchak Hutner to one of his students who wrote to him about some terrible failings. This is how Rav Hutner responded:

“…Know my friend, that the key for your soul is not the tranquility of the yetzer hatov, but the war against the yetzer hara… There is a saying in English, “Lose the battle and win the war.” You surely have stumbled and will stumble again, and you will be vanquished in many battles. However, I promise you that after you have lost those battles, you will emerge from the war with a victor’s wreath on your head.

The wisest of all men [King Shlomo] said [Mishlei 24:16], “The tzaddik will fall seven times and will rise.” The unlearned think that this means, “Even though a tzaddik falls seven times, he will rise.” The wise know well that the (true) meaning is: “Because a tzaddik falls seven times, he will rise.”…”

Sharing in your suffering,

Confident that you will prevail, 

Praying for your success, 

Yitzchak Hutner

The prince is right. We are all turkeys. But we would be fools to remain living under the table.

A Spiritual Revolution Parshas Yisro

There is a famous psychological phenomenon known as the Dunning-Kruger Effect. The Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which people with limited competence overestimate their abilities. For example, students who get D’s and F’s on their exams tend to think they scored much higher. Elderly people who can no longer drive very well often think they are still excellent behind the wheel. In a study on emotional intelligence, participants were asked to rate their own emotional intelligence, meaning, how well they understood themselves and others. Those who scored the lowest rated themselves the highest. I find this to be an incredibly scary thought; we are often blind to our own deficiencies, and we foolishly walk around overestimating our abilities.

The Dunning-Kruger effect is quite well-known; I’d venture to say that most of you are familiar with it. But there is another component to the Dunning-Kruger Effect that is not as famous. And that is the inverse. Those with high levels of competency often underestimate their abilities. The students who got an A often assume they got less. The excellent driver thinks she is not so great at driving. And those with high emotional intelligence do not realize how emotionally intelligent they really are.   

There is a parallel phenomenon in the spiritual world. It doesn’t have a name and because I wrote this when I was quite exhausted, we are going to call it the Spiritual Dunning-Kruger Effect. I know, very creative. The Spiritual Dunning-Kruger Effect represents the fact that we often overestimate in the material realm and underestimate in the spiritual. Take the Jewish People traveling in the desert as an example. They are a group of slaves who were beaten daily and fed a measly diet, if they were fed at all. Two days into their exodus from slavery, they all of a sudden felt that they need meat. A heavenly bread falling from the sky was not enough for them; they “could only survive” if they had a good juicy steak, something they presumably did not experience in Egypt. And yet, when it came to spirituality, when G-d started speaking to them on Har Sinai, they begged Him to stop. Despite being the descendants of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov, despite having a piece of G-d, i.e., a soul, within them, they claimed to not be holy enough to hear G-d’s voice; “it’s too much for us.” They overestimated their physical needs and underestimated their spiritual abilities.

And as bizarre as this seems, hos different are they than all of us who want nicer vacations, bigger homes, better food, and even the best secular education. But when it comes to our spiritual needs, we are content with a whole lot less. “I’m not that spiritual.” We overestimate our physical needs and abilities and underestimate in the spiritual realm.

Truth be told, es chato’ai ani mazkir hayom, I want to publicly acknowledge a failing of my own. I, Yisrael Motzen, underestimated your spiritual aptitude. I did.

In mid-September, I gave a speech on Rosh Hashana (not that one…). I spoke about Rabbi Akiva and the importance of learning Torah. And I thought I was being so bold by asking of you all to learn for a maximum of 13 minutes a day. The topic I was asking you to learn was an easy one, the weekly parsha. And here we are, just a few months later, and about 140 people in our shul have been studying a page of Talmud a day, a difficult 35–55-minute daily endeavor.

There have been hiccups, challenging hiccups, and now is not the time and place to get into all that. But the bottom line is I was wrong. I sold you short. I too suffered from a form of the Spiritual Dunning-Kruger Effect. (I know, I know, we need a better name.)

All the research on the Dunning-Kruger Effect points to one effective way of overcoming these biases, and that is feedback; having someone else tell you who you really are, how your actions are seen by others. So allow me to right my wrong and give some feedback this morning on what I am seeing:

What I am seeing in this room and in our Ner Tamid community is nothing short of a spiritual revolution.

I am sure many of you are thinking, “Eh, this is nothing. We just did it for the money.” Maybe you think you did, but I don’t believe you. I do not believe that you spent all that time just for the money. I just don’t.

I sent out a poll this past week on the Daf Yomi chat with some questions about people’s past learning experiences, and over 2/3 of respondents stated that prior to this Daf Yomi initiative they were not learning daily, with 33% of respondents saying they almost never learned Torah. One of the questions that was asked on the poll was, what did you cut out from your day to make time for the Daf? And most respondents wrote, ‘leisure time.’ Many of us realized that we do not need as much unwinding as we previously assumed. I could get by with less TV, less scrolling, less listening to music. In short, a good percentage of our community just made a significant 90+ day change to our daily habits.

On Rosh Hashana, I mentioned the dirty little secret, which is not much of a secret, the sad reality that for some reason, in Modern Orthodox circles, the centrality of Torah learning and the level of Torah learning is not as strong as it is in other Orthodox circles. There’s no reason a school cannot have exceptionally high standards of secular education and exceptionally high standards of Jewish education, but for some reason, parents are often left choosing between them. These past three months have given me hope that maybe we can change that. And that’s because when I go to the youth lounge every Shabbos to teach the daf to a group of teenagers on a Saturday morning and they are engaged, and they ask me deep questions, and they are thirsty for more Torah, I have hope. This is nothing short of a spiritual revolution.

When I see people who never opened a Jewish book in their life walking around with a gemara, when people tell me that their whole household is walking around listening to the Daf Yomi podcast, when I come to shul meetings and the topic of conversation is yesterday’s daf, when our shul has what I believe to be the highest concentration of women doing the daf in North America, when I wake up in the morning and open my phone and see tens of people who started their day with some Torah learning, this is nothing short of a spiritual revolution.

That’s my feedback. I underestimated you, I underestimated myself. I underestimated our community. We are capable of so much more.

And so now the question is, what’s next? Do we just collect our $1000 and catch up on all the episodes of Suits that we missed? That’s what the Jewish People did in the desert; they received the Torah and 40 days later they were dancing around a calf. They didn’t get it. They didn’t realize how far they came, how much they grew. They didn’t believe in their spiritual aptitude. But we can.

And so I’d like to share with you all a menu of different daily learning programs. Whether you participated in the Daf Yomi project or not, you can still join this revolution. There is truly something for everyone, whether it’s Daf Yomi, Amud Yomi – a class I hope to start here where we will learn half a daf daily, Nach Yomi, or Mishna Yomi. And we’re going to keep that chat – that whatsapp chat that I initially thought was sooo annoying where everyone typed in that they learned that day. It’s a chat I’ve grown to love and be inspired by. It reminds me throughout the day what we are doing here.

One more thing – if you recall, when I came back from Israel, I shared with you a story about a woman we met outside the destroyed police station of Sederot. This young woman’s husband was a police officer who was killed by terrorists on October 7th. Our learning of the Daf was done in memory of her husband. In less than four weeks from now we will be celebrating our conclusion of Bava Kama, and this woman, Hodaya Harush, and her three adorable little children, will be joining us for a weekend.

When I met this woman, she was a police officer. However, her husband, Eliyahu, had always told her you are capable of so much more, you would make an excellent police investigator. After shloshim, she decided, this widow with three orphaned children under 8, to go further, to grow in her career, to be able to do more for the Jewish People, to be a greater merit to her deceased husband, and she enrolled in a program to become a police investigator.  

You’ll meet her soon, and you will see how she is brimming with faith; not only faith in G-d, but a healthy faith in herself, in what she can accomplish. Rav Tzadok HaKohein writes that inasmuch as we are commanded in this week’s parsha to believe in G-d, we are also commanded to believe in ourselves; to stop selling ourselves short.   

I look forward to being able to share with Hodaya not only what we already accomplished in her husband’s memory, but what we will continue to accomplish. I look forward to continuing together in this spiritual revolution. Because each one of us is capable of so much more.

Jewish or Jew-ish: A Case Study Parshas Beshalach

I will not be speaking about her… Just needed to get that out of the way.

However, being that today is Shabbos Shira, a Shabbos designated for song, I want to teach you an old Chassidic niggun. It goes way back, and it goes like this:

Nanana…

Is anyone familiar with that tune?

 

Good. I am glad you’re not familiar with that song because it is not a Chassidic niggun. It was written by Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield, ie, Metallica, a hard rock band that I may or may have not have possibly loved when I was a teenager. But it sounds pretty Jewish, doesn’t it? (For those reading, this is the haunting tune from the end of The Memory Remains.)

So let’s play a little game here – we’ll call it Jewish or Jew-ish (to borrow a term from a former and now disgraced congressman).

Here’s another song:

Yidden, Yidden, kumt aheim!
Moshiach vet shreiyin
In di gassen fin Yerushalyaim
Yidden, Yidden, kumt tzu gein!

Is that song Jewish or Jew-ish?

Sounds pretty Jewish, right? This was a wildly popular song, sung by Mordechai Ben David, that was played at all the Bar Mitzvhas when I was growing up. It even had its own little dance to go along with it, which I always thought was a very yeshivish dance.

The only problem is that the song and even the dance was a complete rip-off of a German song all about Genghis Khan and the many children that he fathered. The song is totally inappropriate, and we’ll just leave it at that.

Or how about this one? At the end of Neilah, right before the shofar is blown, if you were to walk in to a Lubavitch shul, you would hear them singing an upbeat tune. It almost sounds like a tune that a marching band would march to. The truth is, it actually is one. The tune is called Napolean’s march, and it was taken from… Napolean’s army.

What makes a tune Jewish?

According to Rav Moshe Feinstein, the preeminent Halachic authority of American Jewry of the 20th century, it seems like there is no such thing as a Jewish tune. He was once asked if it is appropriate to use the tunes composed by a certain Jewish composer who engaged in a number of very problematic behaviors. There is a prohibition against learning Torah taught by a sinner. What about their music? He responded in Igros Moshe (Even Ha-Ezer, I, no. 96) that there is no intrinsic holiness to a tune and therefore it is allowed.  It would seem, according to Rav Moshe, that there is no such thing as a “Jewish” tune.

Okay, let’s move onto the food category.

Is gefilte fish Jewish?

It doesn’t get more Jewish than gefilte fish. Right? Only that the first mention of this dish, gefuelten hechden, goes back to a non-Jewish German cookbook from the 14th century. Apparently, Gefilte fish was a very popular dish during… Lent – when Christians could not eat meat.

How about cholent? Cholent is a Moorish dish, dating back to the 11th century.   

So no, there is no such thing as a Jewish food.

A while ago I was talking to a group of thoughtful Jewish people who were describing their connection to Judaism. They told me, proudly, it revolved around lox and shmear, brisket, and learning Jewish values from… Bob Dylan.

It was very sad. Not only was it sad, but it was also incorrect. There is no Jewish ethnicity – look around this room. There is no intrinsically Jewish culture – most of the music, food, or art that we describe as Jewish is borrowed from our host cultures.

So what is Jewish?

Some may say that Judaism is a collection of values. Judaism certainly has an incredible collection of values. To quote Christian historian, Paul Johnson: “To them (the Jews) we owe the idea of equality before the law, both divine and human; of the sanctity of life and the dignity of human person; of the individual conscience and so a personal redemption; of collective conscience and so of social responsibility; of peace as an abstract ideal and love as the foundation of justice, and many other items which constitute the basic moral furniture of the human mind.”

But values are only half the story. Our tradition never revolved around values, it revolved around laws, what we call Halacha, the practical application of those values. What makes something truly Jewish, is when it is codified in Jewish Law.

And so today, as a case study, and since unfortunately war is on all of our minds, I’d like to share with you two laws, two halachos that relate to war. Two laws that we can use to conceptualize a truly Jewish approach to warfare.

The first law is found in the Talmud, in Meseches Shabbos. There is a law that on Shabbos one may not carry any items in an area that does not have an Eruv. However, if you are carrying something that is seen as an adornment, like jewelry, that is permitted. On Daf 63, we find a debate about carrying a sword. Rabbi Eliezer says, it’s an adornment, you are allowed to carry it on Shabbos. The Sages say, you cannot.

Now if you were learning Daf Yomi, you would tell yourself, “Okay, one opinion says this, one opinion says that. Let’s keep on going!” But if you would pause and take a moment to think about what they are really getting at, you would hear the Sages say, “Yes, many people see their weapons as a sign of power, as a sign of brute beauty. But the Torah does not. The Torah paints weaponry as a necessary evil. And therefore, a weapon, no matter how beautiful it may be, is intrinsically not an adornment. It is ugly.”

The Sages are teaching us, and this ruling is codified in the Shulchan Aruch, that regardless of how buff and beautiful our boys and girls in green may look, war is intrinsically unattractive. There is nothing glorious about a Merkava tank, there is nothing wonderful about an F4 Phantom fighter jet. Weaponry, our Sages are teaching us, should not get us excited, it should offend our sensibilities.

There is another law about warfare that is found in our parsha, the Mitzvah to destroy the nation of Amaleik. We read today how Amaleik attacked our ancestors even though we were nowhere near their land, and they broke every rule of engagement, even by ancient standards. The Torah subsequently commands us to obliterate them, timcheh es zecher Amaleik. This includes men, women, and children, what we call in modern times, genocide.

Now it’s worth noting that according to Maimonides, we first encourage them to accept the seven Noahide laws, a baseline of morality. If they say yes, we leave them be. Only if they reject this offer, only if they say, no, we will hold onto our immoral ways, then and only then, is our army to attack. Though this mitigates some of the challenge, the Torah does instruct, if they refuse, to kill them every member of this nation, and many, understandably see this Mitzvah as morally challenging.

While I am troubled by the Mitzvah, I could also acknowledge that my moral compass is not as refined as G-d’s moral compass.

There’s another issue with this mitzvah that I find equally puzzling and that is our obsession with it. This Mitzvah is no longer in practice, we have no idea who the descendants of Amaleik are and therefore even if we wanted to, we could not perform this Mitzvah. It would be absolutely forbidden to commit genocide or even to kill those who are innocent. And yet, despite it being entirely irrelevant to our modern lives, we have an entire Shabbos dedicated to remembering this Mitzvah. There are people who remind themselves of this Mitzvah every day. Why? It would be quite convenient to bury this Mitzvah under a pile of shaimos and call it a day, but for some reason, we are enjoined to make a fuss about this Mitzvah every single year.

The common thread between all those who address this question is this:  The reason we are obsessed with this Mitzvah is because it is relevant to our everyday lives. It is a Mitzvah, I would argue, that is needed today more than ever. Because even though Amaleik no longer exists, the eternal and ongoing Mitzvah to destroy Amaleik is meant to remind us that evil still exists. The eternal and ongoing Mitzvah to destroy Amaleik is meant to remind us that despite the emphasis Judaism places on compassion for the downtrodden, we cannot allow that to blind us to the fact that we must defend ourselves against those who come to attack us. It is meant to remind us that the ugliness of weaponry notwithstanding, weapons of destruction must be used at times to remove evil from this world.

In the words of Rabbi Dr. Norman Lamm: The motif of this Mitzvah is to “reserve our… hatred for the unusually hateful individuals who commit historic crimes and whose malice is monstrous and premeditated. Anti-Semites who wish to destroy all the Jewish people; monsters who seek sadistically to wipe out whole populations–such people remain deserving, on purely moral grounds, of actual contempt and hatred.” 

There are Jews who glorify violence. And there are Jews who wish that Israel put their weapons down and allow Hamas to continue killing Jews. Both views claim to be Jewish, but they are at best, Jew-ish. They are not consistent with Jewish tradition and Jewish law.

Today is Holocaust Memorial Day. It’s a day that I always assumed Jews do not need. How could we, the people who grew up on Never Forget, fail to remember? But it seems like many Jews have forgotten that evil exists. Many Jews have forgotten that when they come for us, they do not care for our politics. Too many Jews have forgotten the Mitzvah of mechiyas amaleik.

Judaism, true Jewish law, promotes a love of peace but also demands of us not to be naïve. What’s truly remarkable is that our modern State of Israel, despite not claiming to run its army according to Jewish law, incorporates so much of these values into their protocols. For example, the IDF is a defense force, and goes to unimaginable lengths to preserve life – because we do not glorify violence. Not only do we not glorify violence, but our hearts are truly broken over the many innocent Arabs in Gaza who are being killed, the collateral damage of this war. And at the same time, to put down our weapons when there are missiles aimed at our cities, to stop fighting when there are people who proudly proclaim that they will continue to steal our children and violate our women, not a chance. Thank G-d, our values have held on for all these years.

There is nothing wrong with culture. On the contrary, we can partake in whatever good we can from all around us. But culture, even Jewish culture, it comes and it goes. What has lasted for three thousand years is not Gefilte fish or Bob Dylan, our ancestors sang the song at the sea I would assume with an Egyptian tune. What has lasted for three thousand years are the laws of the Torah and the values that those laws represent. So enjoy all that is Jew-ish in the world, but never lose sight of what we really stand for.  

Snow Days Parshas Bo

What do you think of when you see snow?

As a child, the first thought you have is, “NO SCHOOOOL!”

As a parent of young children, the first thought you have is, “What in the world am I going to do with these kids for a full day?!”

As a rabbi, the first thing I thought of when I looked out the window on Friday morning was, “Darn, there goes our minyan…”

What you think of when you see snow has a lot to do with who you are.

Jewish literature has a lot to say about snow. There are halachos of snow, like, can you make a snowball on Shabbos? (no) Can you shovel your walkway from snow on Shabbos? (yes) Can you use snow as a mikvah? (sometimes)

But what I’d like to focus on is the symbolism of snow in Jewish literature.

One approach is to see snow as a hindrance, a challenge, a difficulty, a pain. When it snowed, and I mean really snowed. Not like the 3 inches of snow that you non-Canadians cancel school for… But when it really snows, everything is forced to shut down. Historically, before modern transportation, after a snowstorm, people traveling could be stuck in their location for weeks. Wars were scheduled around the seasons to avoid getting bogged down in the snow. The amount of work that the cold weather in general and snow in particular demanded of us was immense. Making sure the livestock didn’t freeze to death. Making sure the people didn’t freeze to death. Snow was an absolute pain.

Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch writes that snow and the cold season were created by G-d for precisely that reason – to be a pain, to force us to toil, to make our lives complicated. He quotes an opinion found in the Medrash of Bereishis Rabbah that suggests that prior to the great flood there was only one season, spring. The weather was always pleasant and peaceful, which on the one hand is wonderful. At the same time, there is a danger when things are too peaceful. King Shlomo writes in Mishlei, how the devil loves idle hands. Too much peacefulness lends itself to sin. L’fum tzara agra, according to the struggle is the reward, our Sages teach us. We need some tension in our lives, some pressure, some intensity, that is where the real growth is found.

And so, Rav Hirsch suggests, that after the flood, in order to ensure that humankind never becomes too complacent, to ensure that we never fall prey to the dangerous lure of endless relaxation, G-d introduces seasons to the world. And specifically, the cold season with all its difficulties.

Snow according to this approach reminds us of our frailty. How we need to keep ourselves busy to stay out of trouble. How it’s hard to be a good and honest person. Snow reminds us of our spiritual vulnerability.

There are other sources about snow that go even further, associating snow with death. When G-d speaks to Moshe at the burning bush, Moshe tells G-d that the Jewish People are unworthy of redemption. How does G-d respond? By turning Moshe’s hand “white like snow.” Later on, Miriam turns the same color for speaking negatively about Moshe.

The commentators, explaining why snowy white is the color chosen for the punishment, suggest that snow is a lifeless color. It’s the color of death. The message behind Moshe’s hand and Miriam’s skin turning white is that one is undeserving of their life. White is a sickly and deathly color.

Along the same lines, according to the mystics, snow represents the fact that there are times in our Avodas Hashem, in our service to G-d, when we feel cold; there’s no blood pumping, no energy. In Eishes Chayil, we speak of the woman of valor who does not fear snow because her house is “lavush shanim,” it’s weatherproof. What that means is that she is wise enough to navigate the dark and snowy times in her spiritual life. She knows how to ride the inevitable lows as represented by snow.

But not all Jewish sources depict snow as dark and gloomy. Some Jewish sources see in snow majestic beauty. King David creatively describes snow as a source of warmth – hanosen sheleg katzemer. G-d who makes snow like wool. What he was trying to convey by associating snow with wool, the source of warmth is that there is nothing as soothing as snow. Robert Frost uses snow to evoke an almost hypnotic feeling in his famous poem, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, “The woods are lovely, dark, and deep…”  There is something magical about a landscape transformed under a blanket of snow. Or even better, the warm and cozy feeling of watching the confetti-like snow slowly falling from the heavens.

King David invokes snow as a sign of G-d’s majesty. When we see that beautiful white tablecloth, the source of cold and the source of inner warmth, we are to see Hashem’s greatness. The Rambam writes that the most straightforward pathway to developing love and awe of the Divine is …
בשעה שיתבונן האדם במעשיו וברואיו הנפלאים הגדולים ויראה מהן חכמתו שאין לה ערך ולא קץ מיד הוא אוהב ומשבח ומפאר ומתאוה תאוה גדולה לידע השם הגדול

When we see something majestic we are expected to see who is behind it. Whose the artist who painted this majestic picture and how do I draw close to Him?

So while the first approach sees within snow a reminder of human frailty, this second approach sees within snow, the majesty of G-d.  

Elsewhere, snow is used as a symbol of repentance, “If your sins are red, I will make them white like snow…”  The prophet wisely chooses a snowfall to depict change to encourage us – Yes, there is change that is sometimes a total transformation of one’s self. But there is also a change that is skin deep, or snow deep, and it’s still meaningful. The landscape is totally transformed even with a small sprinkle of snow.

So why do I bring this all up?  

There is a fascinating set of verses that describe the moment that Moshe transformed from being an intelligent shepherd to the leader of the Jewish People. Moshe sees a bush on fire. He also notices that the bush is not consumed.

וַיֹּ֣אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֔ה אָסֻֽרָה־נָּ֣א וְאֶרְאֶ֔ה אֶת־הַמַּרְאֶ֥ה הַגָּדֹ֖ל הַזֶּ֑ה מַדּ֖וּעַ לֹא־יִבְעַ֥ר הַסְּנֶֽה׃

And Moshe said, “Let me go see this great vision. Why is the thorn bush not consumed by the fire?”

G-d responds by saying, take your shoes off – experience this moment. The desert floor was not filled with snow; but it was hot, it was filled with thorns, pebbles. By telling Moshe to take his shoes off and allow his bare feet to touch and feel the ground, G-d was telling Moshe to stop being a scientist, to stop asking what is going on here and how does this work, and instead to just feel and experience the moment.  

We love talking about weather! We love analyzing the weather. How many inches, how much damage, where the storm is coming from, where it’s going. G-d is saying to each and every one of us, just feel the snow – experience it.

Yes, we could still celebrate a day off of work or school. Yes, I will still get nervous about our lack of minyan. But as Jews, we could also see our un-shoveled walkway and be reminded of the frail nature of humankind and the necessity of the seasons as Rav Hirsch taught us. We could look at the beautiful white and warm blanket and just stand in awe of G-d’s creation like the Rambam poetically wrote. We could be reminded of the times that we feel dead inside and take this moment to reflect on the fact that gam zeh ya’avar, bad times, like bad weather will pass and we’ll get reenergized sooner or later. Or we could remind ourselves that like a snowfall that transforms the landscape, we are all capable of taking small steps and changing who we are.  

To be a Jew is to be a poet. A poet does not see something, even something ordinary, and certainly something out of ordinary, and simply just walk by. A poet is moved and if not naturally moved, the poet removes her shoes, she forces herself to experience and be moved by the world around.

I hope the weather picks up, I really do. I’m freezing and I hate having just barely a minyan. But next time we see it snow, let’s awaken the poet within, let’s awaken our soul and be moved by its beauty and be inspired by its many lessons.