Yes, Purim falls out on Friday. But no, that does not mean it has to be more stressful. We’ll review the pertinent Halachos below, but before we do so, there are some other Purim-related mitzvos that need to be discussed:
Parshas Zachor
One should make an extra effort to hear the special reading of Parshas Zachor being read at shul this Shabbos. There will be a second reading of Parshas Zachor 10 minutes afters davening at Ner Tamid.
If one missed the reading, one should make sure to be in shul for the reading of the Torah on Purim day and have in mind to fulfill one’s obligation through the reading of that passage.
Though women are not obligated to hear Parshas Zachor, many women make an extra effort to attend shul for Parshas Zachor.
Machtzis Hashekel
In the times of the Temple, announcements were made throughout the Land of Israel on Rosh Chodesh Adar that everyone should donate a half-shekel to the Bais HaMikdash to be used to pay for the daily sacrifices. Despite the lack of Bais HaMikdash there is an ancient custom that we donate money to the poor before Purim to perpetuate this practice.
This custom is independent of the Rabbinic Mitzvah of giving charity on Purim.
To properly fulfill this custom one should give three half-coins. (This is done because the Torah says the word “Terumah/ Donation” three times in the section that deals with this Mitzvah.) Since most people do not have three half coins of their own many shuls leave three half coins out for people to acquire (not borrow). By placing an equivalent amount of money in the basket one acquires the three coins and then gives those three coins to charity to fulfill their obligation.
There are varying customs as to whom is included in this Mitzvah. Many have the custom that every member of the family should give (or should be given for).
The custom is to give it on Taanis Esther, which is on Thursday. If you were unable to do so, one can still do so on Purim.
Taanis Esther
This Thursday is Taanis Esther.
One who is pregnant or nursing should not fast. One who has a severe headache can break their fast.
Megillah Reading
There is a Mitzvah to hear the Megillah read both on Purim evening (Thursday night) and Purim day (Friday). It is an obligation for both men and women. Like all Mitzvos, there is an obligation on parents to teach their children how to fulfill the Mitzvah. The appropriate age is subjective. When a child can sit through the entire Megillah reading (silently) they are ready to attend Megillah reading. Before this age, it is better to keep the child at home (or attend our wonderful youth program) so that they will not prevent others from fulfilling their obligation.
It is forbidden to speak during the reading of the Megillah. If one spoke they have still fulfilled their obligation.
To fulfill their obligation every word of the Megillah must be heard.
One needs to pay attention to every word of the Megillah to fulfill their obligation. Paying attention means that if someone were to ask them what was just read they could answer. If one has less concentration than that it is questionable if they fulfilled their obligation.
If one did not hear or pay attention they can catch up by reading the missed words from the text in front of them (even though it is not a Megillah) and catching up to the reader.
Gifts to the Poor
One of the Mitzvos of Purim is to give gifts to the poor. To fulfill this Mitzvah, every adult must give a meal or the monetary value of a meal to two poor individuals. The Mitzvah is to specifically do this during Purim day.
Practically speaking, one has what to rely upon to give as little as $10 for each poor individual for a total of twenty dollars. Although the Mitzvah can only be fulfilled during the day, if one would like they could place their money in the basket in the shul on Purim night. (This is because I, acting as your agent to deliver the money, do not take possession of the money until the daytime.) (Even though one is placing a single donation in the basket, one fulfills their obligation to give to two people as from a Halachic standpoint we can assume that the money you gave was divided between two poor individuals.)
One can also donate on the shul website.
Even after fulfilling one’s obligation, the Shulchan Aruch teaches us that on Purim we should strive to give money to any poor person who asks for help.
Mishloach Manos
One must give a food gift consisting of two foods to one person on Purim day. That is it; one person.
People tend to give to many, which is not in it of itself a bad thing, but one must consider a few points:
The objective is to generate friendship. With this in mind, it is far more valuable to give to someone who may not be receiving many Mishloach Manot or someone with whom our relationship has become strained than giving to those we already have a wonderful relationship with.
Also, important to keep in mind that some of the organizations that deliever Mishloach Manot on one’s behalf sometimes deliver on the night of Purim. To fulfil one’s obligation, at least one set of Mishloach Manot must be given on Purim day.
Seudas Purim on Friday
There is a Mitzvah to have a festive meal on Purim. While there is a Mitzvah to have a festive meal on many holidays, the festive meal is usually meant to facilitate the joy of the holiday but on Purim the festive meal is an end to itself. The reason for this is that on Purim festive meals played a major role in the Purim story – according to the Medrashim the Jewish People sinned by attending the festive meal that Achashveirosh threw and we rectify this by having a festive meal that is a Mitzvah and the meal that Esther made for Achashveirosh and Haman where she revealed her identity and turned the tables on Haman.
One should ideally start the meal before Halachic midday. In Baltimore, this Purim, that would be at 1:16 PM. Once started before midday, it may extend beyond.
If one did not start their seudah before midday, one may start the seduah at any time, the earlier the better.
There is a method of merging one’s Purim Seudah and Friday night Shabbos meal into one meal. Many halachic authorities discourage this practice for a number of reasons. If you woul like to learn more about this methd, please follow this link: https://www.ou.org/holidays/purim-on-a-friday/
Alcohol on Purim
There is a debate among the commentators whether or not a person should become intoxicated on Purim. Many commentators suggest that a person should drink a little more than usual and if possible, take a little nap after drinking and in doing so, one fulfills the custom of drinking on Purim. While there is what to rely upon to drink more than that, it is certainly forbidden to endanger one’s life in any way possible. If you plan on drinking please make sure you have a designated driver. In addition, while studies have shown that modelling healthy drinking is more beneficial for children than no modelling at all, it is extremely frightening and unsettling for a child to see their parent out of control. If you do decide to drink, please do so responsibly.
If one should not be drinking alcohol due to any concerns of addictions or any other medical concerns, it is forbidden to drink. They could drink a cup of grape juice instead.
There are many reasons behind the custom of drinking. The simplest explanation is to commemorate the fact that the Purim story revolved around drinking. From the Jew’s participation at Achashveirosh’s festive meal to the drinking of Haman on the day Esther accused him of trying to kill her, wine plays a central role in the story.
The Sefas Emes suggests that we drink to demonstrate our lack of worth. An intoxicated individual cannot be taken seriously. Similarly, the Jewish People did not have any merit to be saved on Purim and it was only through G-d’s kindness that we were saved. Drinking, he suggests, is to remind us not to take ourselves too seriously and to recognize how dependent we are on G-d’s mercy.