I received a call this past week from someone in Israel. He told me he had a question, but he couldn’t get the words out. Finally, through the deep breath and sobs, he managed to ask, “How can I pray?”
He is involved in emergency work and so he got wind of what was going on Shabbos morning. And he told me that when he heard that something was unfolding in the south, he prayed like he never prayed before. He poured his heart out, begging G-d to have mercy.
But then the news started to trickle through, and then pictures started to emerge. He found out what happened to the innocent, to the elderly, to the men, to the women, to the infants. “Where is G-d? How can I pray?”
As he was speaking, I remembered my grandfather who had a similar question. My grandfather told us how he would pray every single day, Shacharis, Mincha, and Maariv. But on Rosh Hashana, he watched as hundreds of children were led to the crematorium. The next time he tried to daven, he simply forgot the words.
He never told us how, and I wish I had asked him, but eventually he did find the words. Ultimately, he became a chazzan leading others in prayer. I knew there must be a way forward.
So let me tell you what I told this young man – truly the least inspiring message I could share – but it’s true:
Nowhere in the torah does it say that if we pray G-d will answer.
Nowhere in the Torah does it say that those who are good will be rewarded and those who are evil will be punished.
You may be wondering, yes it does? The Torah constantly talks about reward and punishment in this world. It talks about evil people getting punished. The righteous being rewarded?! It speaks of the power of tefilah?!
It does. In the context of a Messianic era. In the context of a time when the Temple stands. In the context of a time when G-d’s presence is among us.
At such a time, we will see justice in the world; those who are morally bankrupt – and my oh my, how many we are seeing today, they will be eradicated from this earth. At such a time, those who are holy will shine. At such a time, will pray and feel G-d before us.
But right now? In a non-Messianic era, the Torah tells us what we will experience, a reality described as Hester Panim; the hiding of G-d’s face.
In such a reality, nature is in control; the righteous suffer, the evil prosper.
In such a reality, we pray, and we feel like we’re talking to ourselves.
That is what hester panim is – G-d is not looking at us; He’s hiding.
People tell me in general they struggle with prayer – of course you do! G-d is hiding. And when some rabbis try saying, just pray harder, just pray better, and you’ll feel it. That’s all you need to do! They’re right in that you may feel a little bit, prayer can be the most exhilarating experience possible. But you won’t feel G-d’s presence fully. I am sorry to say they’re lying to you. Not in this world you won’t, not before Mashiach comes.
People wonder how such bad things happen to good people – this is precisely what hester panim means; that G-d allows us to be ruled by the random rules of nature. And when some rabbis try pointing out the divine plan in everything around us, “you just need to look harder.” They are lying to you.
And then people wonder, they may not say it out loud, do we really need a Messianic era?
Part of that is our fault, the rabbis’ fault, for painting such a perfect picture of Judaism; for claiming that Jewish Law is perfect when without a Sanhedrin, a grand court, it is broken; for claiming that what we have in Israel is so great, when without a Bais HaMikdash, it is incomplete; for claiming that if we only prayed more or better we could hear from Hashem, when G-d is hiding His face; for claiming that if we just had a more positive perspective we would see the Divine Hand, when it’s not true; the Divine hand is in self-imposed exile.
I understand why you struggle to pray, I told this young man. I understand why you struggle to see G-d’s hand. He’s hiding, and I’m sorry that we claimed otherwise.
Now I know this sounds like the most depressing message possible, but I don’t think it is. Allow me to share with you an analogy:
I wake up every morning and the battery on my phone is at 100%. The green rectangle is full. As the day progresses, the green gets smaller and smaller, and eventually, it turns yellow. When it turns yellow, it means the phone is on ‘battery saver mode.’ Battery saver mode kicks in when the phone knows that it is soon going to die and in order to keep it going, it shuts off certain applications, and it slows down. This mode allows the battery to preserve itself.
When G-d told us in the Torah that when He destroys the temple, He will hide his face, He could have so easily just “shut the phone off” and left us with no connectivity whatsoever. Instead, He provided us with battery saver mode. Yes, prayer is difficult, excruciatingly so, but at times we can still feel an incredible connection. Yes, Jewish Law is not perfect, but it’s still glorious and magnificent! Yes, bad things do happen to good people – but sometimes we do get to see G-d’s hand!
We could have had nothing. G-d could have hidden His face entirely, but He chose not to. And to think and to know that in this time of hester panim, despite not having everything, we do have a land of our own, we do have an army that will fight back – and a brave and amazing army! And we have unity once again like never before! To think that in Tel Aviv, just a few days ago, they had to call in the army to break up fights among fellow Jews! And this week, all striped of Jews gathered in those same squares to pack bags for soldiers!
And to think that during this time of hester panim, we have been able to maintain our faith, that my friends, is remarkable. That, my friends, is worth celebrating.
When Bibi Netanyahu was heading to the UN assembly for the very first time as an ambassador for Israel, he stopped at the Lubavitcher Rebbe for a visit. And he asked the Rebbe advice; “The UN is a place that is not very friendly to Jews or to the State of Israel. How will I manage?”
And the Rebbe famously replied, “It’s a dark place. But one small candle, one small light can banish a whole lot of darkness.”
Yes, it is a dark world. It is especially dark this week. For those of us who forgot that He has been hiding His face from us for 2000 years, we were given a rude reminder this past week. But there is light!
There is light in the outpouring of support from the world around us!
There is light in the precious unity that we are experiencing!
There’s light in the incredible chesed and tzedakah that we have all been a part of!
And let’s not just see the light. Let’s add light; through our prayers, through our extra Torah learning, through our charity, through our unity and kindness.
AM YISRAEL CHAI!
We will prevail.
We will keep on seeking out the light,
And we will keep on adding our own light until the ultimate day of light. Until the day we merit the original spiritual light of creation, a world in which we can see and experience G-d and all of His goodness, bim’heira v’yameinu, speedily in our days. Amen!