Every once in a while, my wife goes away for a few days and leaves me with the kids. Before she leaves, she sits me down to review all the things I need to do to cover for her – which is a LOT. But after reviewing the telephone-book-sized instruction manual she left me with, things go smoothly. Meals, snacks, friends, homework, everyone’s smiling. Next morning, outfits, breakfast, super smooth. And then, inevitably, one child looks up, with those eyes, and asks, “Aba, who’s going to make my double French braid?”

“No problem. I’ll do your hair.”

And that’s when everything goes out the window.

“MOOOOOMMMMY! I MISS MY MOMMY!!!”

I try to reason with them to calm them down – which by the way is a terrible strategy, never works, and I tell them, “Girls, it’s just your hair, it’s just a braid. Who cares?”

 

“JUST MY HAIR?!?!?! IT’S NOT JUST A BRAID!!!!

All of us who have been glued to our screens these past weeks, watching the hostages get freed, know that my children are right, that it is not just a braid.

For those who do not know what I am referring to – About a week ago some social media accounts started discussing the ‘Mystery Braider.’ They were referring to the fact that many of the female hostages who were released, both in November of 2023 and those released last week, had their hair done in braids.

Apparently, a young woman who was with them in captivity, made sure to take care of these women’s hair before they were released. The Mystery Braider was Agam Berger, a 21-year-old, who was captured from the Nachal Oz army base. One hostage who was released before her, shared something about her even more remarkable than her hair braiding. While in captivity, Agam decided she would start keeping Shabbos and Kosher. When her captors demanded that she cook on Shabbos, she refused. When they offered her bread on Pesach, she did not eat it. When meat was served to them in the few meals they had each week, she ate nothing.

But it was the braids that caught everyone’s attention. It was understood that these braids were meant to be an act of defiance – to demonstrate to Hamas that they cannot break us. So much so, that the family urgently pleaded for people to remove all posts about Agam from social media, as they were concerned that Hamas may see her as a symbol of resistance and not release her.

It was more than an act of defiance. Those braids stood for something so much greater.

In my mind, I have these two images side by side. The young women, with smiles, and braided hair, embraced by their families; tears and kisses and laughter. And next to that image is an image of the chaotic and horrific scene that took place a short while earlier as hostages were paraded through a bloodthirsty crowd, shoving and chanting Allah Akhbar. That chanting crowd symbolized the depth of depravity that humans can stoop, and those braids symbolized the ability to retain a sense of dignity in the darkest of places.

There is a long tradition of braids in Jewish culture and history.

Every Shabbos, the loaves of bread that we eat are braided. According to some sources, the reason we braid our Challah takes us all the way back to the first moments of human history.

The Talmud in Meseches Eruvin quotes Rav Shimon ben Menasya who says that right after Chava, was created, before being introduced to Adam, G-d Himself braided her hair to make her look more attractive to Adam. Braiding hair is clearly a divine act.

But our Sages take this even further.

The Talmud in Meseches Shabbos teaches us that braiding hair on Shabbos is forbidden. What melacha, what prohibited activity can possibly be involved in weaving hair?

The Gemara explains that the textual source for G-d braiding Chava’s hair is the word vayiven, which literally means that G-d built. Building is forbidden on Shabbos, and braiding is a form of building.

Sounds like a stretch, right?

Listen to what Rav Kook has to say about this (Ayn Ayah, 10:17). When we think of the act of building, we think of bricks and mortar, we think of metal supports and stone floors. We think of a structure that protects us from the elements. But that is a primitive perspective. Building, the Talmud is teaching us, involves aesthetics. It involves beauty. The emotional inspiration, the colors, the fabric, the design, all of those are integral to the act of building.

In this opening moment of history, G-d conveyed to Adam and Chava what it means to be a human. We are not animals, we do not live by the survival of the fittest, we do not view the world through utilitarian glasses alone. As humans, we need to elevate ourselves, we need to observe the Divine beauty that exists around us, and we need to create beauty. We need to broaden ourselves through all the emotions and Divine beauty that the world has to offer. So yes, braiding is building, because a world void of beauty is a body void of its soul.

In the deep dark cellars of Gaza, Agam Berger stumbled upon this reality. She found G-d, and she found G-dliness in everything and everyone around her. Braided hair was Agam’s way of saying, you may have taken my body, you may have beaten me, you may have abused me, but you cannot take my Divine spark. You cannot take away the beauty of my soul.

***

Today, we are welcoming a young woman into our faith, we are celebrating the Bat Mitzvah of Liora Sipple. Liora, you remind me of the Mystery Braider. Liora is an exceptionally talented artist. She has won awards and accolades for her sewing and weaving. She works with clay, with yarn, with paint. Liora knows the secret of the braids – how art, how beauty, expresses our Divine spark. But like Agam, she not only sees it in herself, she sees Divinity in others. Liora is extraordinarily thoughtful. She creates art not for herself but mostly for others.

And it’s no surprise. This past week, I met with a group of communal leaders in another city who were interested in making their communities more welcoming. I shared with them some of the practices we have in our model shul. One of the things I highlighted was how we try to ensure that everyone has meals – whether it’s the monthly shul-wide lunches and dinners, whether it’s the email invitation that goes out weekly to those who live on their own, or whether it’s our WhatsApp chat where people can find a host or guest with the click of a finger. But well before we had all these beautiful systems in place, I had a single tool at my disposal. Whenever someone was visiting our shul for the first time or someone was looking for a meal, I knew I could always call Ian and Naomi Sipple who would, in a heartbeat, agree to host.

***

When Agam was released this past Thursday, she was reunited with her parents and then flown by helicopter to a hospital in Petach Tikvah. They gave her a whiteboard if she wanted to write a message to share with the millions of Jews worldwide who were waiting for her with bated breath. On the whiteboard, she wrote the words, Derech Emunah bacharti, I chose a path of faith, a quote from the book of Tehillim.

Liora, today you are making the choice to walk in the way of faith, following in the footsteps of Agam, following in the footsteps of your parents, following in the footsteps of G-d. To be a Jew means to build, not just a state and not just an army, but to build braids, to build a world of beauty, to find expression for all of our G-d given talents and emotions, that no matter what darkness and challenges we face, to see the Divine within ourselves and within every person around us.